*Millions

Directed by Danny Boyle
Written by Frank Cottrell Boyce

I’m not a fan of Danny Boyle. I’m just not. I thought Shallow Grave was just plain shallow, I never spotted any of the supposed brilliance in Trainspotting, and 28 Days Later felt 28 days long. The only film of his that I’ve seen that I find entertaining is A Life Less Ordinary, the one that even his staunchest fans hate (or at the very least have completely forgotten about). Sacrilege, I know. Writer Frank Cottrell Boyce, meanwhile, is better known for his far edgier collaborations with Michael Winterbottom (Welcome to Sarajevo, 24 Hour Party People, Code 46), to all of which I am almost without exception completely indifferent.

So, you can understand my trepidation going into Boyle and Boyce’s much-hyped foray into family filmdom, Millions. Saint-obsessed Damian (Alex Etel) and his brother Anthony (Lewis McGibbon) have recently lost their mother. Their father (James Nesbitt, whom you will recognize from all those Murphy’s Law movies on PBS) moves the family to a new house in a tract community in the suburbs. One day, while Damian is having a conversation with St. Clare (the patron saint of television), a huge duffel bag full of cash drops from the sky at Damian’s feet. Knowing that their father would only turn it over to the police, the boys are left on their own to decide what to do with the money. Damian searches the neighborhood for poor people to help (“The house prices keep them out,” Anthony points out), while the older Anthony has slightly more conventional plans for the cash (watch for his pre-pubescent secret service – hilarious). Unfortunately, England is changing over to the euro within days, and the boys must spend or exchange all the money before the changeover renders all the nation’s pounds sterling notes, including the boys’ new windfall, useless (the whole exchange-the-money-before-the-currency-handover-deadline plot device also worked to great effect in last year’s Goodbye, Lenin!).

But…where did this money come from? Where is it leading them? Could someone else be after it? Could it really have been a miracle that brought them the money? And what exactly constitutes a miracle, anyway?

The plot at this point plays somewhat like a non-violent Shallow Grave with kids (there’s even a reprise of the hiding-out-in-the-attic thing). One of many amazing things about this film, however, is the way in which most of the usual trappings of your typical coming-of-age movie (moving to a new town, brothers growing apart, dad's new girlfriend, etc.) unfold and play out in the context of not only the money, but on the discourse on miracles as well, all leading to the predictably happy, yet subtly (and wonderfully) ambiguous, conclusion.

There are also more bright, sunny days in a row in Millions than ever before recorded in English history.

In making a film about (potential) miracles, Boyle has created a minor miracle of his own. Millions possesses a childlike straightforwardness, but is never pedantic. The film is surreal, but not weird (very much resembling that which used to be referred to as magic realism); spiritual, but not sanctimonious; clever, but not snarky; realistic, but not cynical; cute, but not cutesy. And, for the most part, it is almost shockingly subtle for a filmmaker whose quietest previous moment was having Cillian Murphy roaming the empty streets of London screaming, “Hellllooooo!! HELLLLOOOOO!!” for THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT.

But is Millions really a family film? Is it even possible to have a family film today that has neither CGI nor a single fart joke? Not unlike Heidi or Pollyana or Old Yeller, Millions is a film that will undoubtedly be shown to thousands of children, but one which will go unappreciated by every single one of them (hell, even the edgy-for-the-70s Freaky Friday had to be amped up with emo girl bands, motorcycles, and potential MILF-sex in order for the remake to fly with today’s youth). Honestly, what is today’s youth (or today’s anyone, for that matter) to make of the young, angelic Damian? Likeable, sure. Admirable, absolutely. But relatable? The world should be so lucky.