The 77th Annual Academy Awards

I wasn't going to comment on this year's Oscars, was just hoping that they'd be quickly forgotten in favor of all the exciting new stuff coming out this year (what were they again? I can only think of two, and neither one of them is Episode 3). But, since you asked (if you asked), here's what I think:

Just about everything about this year's ceremony was wrong.

The treatment of the nominees of the quote unquote lesser categories was reprehensible, offensive even. Yeah, tonight isn't about achievement or recognition, it's all about star power. No one cares about costume designers, make-up artists, production designers, or the people who make those little movies that no one cares about, like docs or shorts. Just give us our Tom Hankses, our Julia Robertses, our Robin Williamses, our Tom Cruises.

Here's an idea for next year's ceremony: for the Best Actor nominees, let's let the Big Stars have their triumphant walk to the stage, but make all the "lesser" actors sit together so that, on the off-chance that they win, we can toss them their Award like a bag of peanuts and let them take all of four steps to a microphone stand where they can make their speech to the back of the heads of people that we've decided are more important than they are. Let's see, figuring that that would shave about four seconds for each of the major categories, that's another, what, twenty seconds of the viewer's life that they can take back? (Assuming that none of the Big Stars win, of course.)

Or better yet, let's parade them all on stage like cattle at a 4-H auction. That way, you don't get the triumphant walk to the stage if you win, but you do get a nice loser's walk back to your empty seat when you lose. Charming. I'd like to see them do that to Tom Hanks.

There's a lot more that goes into movies than actors and directors. Yes, I know that actors and directors are the big box-office (and Nielsen rating) draws, but the Oscars aren't supposed to be like that. The Oscars are supposed to be about recognition and achievement in all the aspects of movie-making. The producers of this program, who are in the business, should know better. How could they not know that these people deserve better? How could they not know that there are actually people out there aspiring to get into the movies, NOT as actors, NOT as directors, but AS make-up artists, set designers, costume designers, sound engineers, visual effects artists, animators, documentarians? How could they pass up a once-a-year chance to actually explain what exactly a production designer does, why a cinematographer deserves an award, how the quality of sound editing can absolutely make or break a picture?

How could they not understand that in a culture so obsessed with celebrity and weekend numbers, that for many of these people, this is the one night when they get not only industry-wide, but virtually world-wide recognition for all the things that the general public, though they go by the thousands to ooh and ahh at their work, don't even consciously realize whose work they are oohing and ahhing?

This year, not only did the producers decline to educate, they all but denied that these "other" aspects even exist. This, I find unforgiveable.

I couldn't even enjoy Charlie Kaufman's much-deserved win (Eternal Sunshine was the movie of the year, as far as I'm concerned) and non-speech. No, the only purely enjoyable moment I found in Sunday's proceedings was Jorge Drexler's acceptance speech for his win for best song ("Al Otro Lado del Rio", The Motorcycle Diaries). While struggling to hear a hint of melody or rhythm in Antonio Banderas' voice underneath Carlos Santana ceaselessly being CARLOS SANTANA (TM), my head just about burst. Drexler's speech was the perfect fuck-you - to Banderas, to Santana, to Beyonce, and to all the show's producers who chose a vision of glitz over substance. I turned to my friend and said, "How cool would it be if he just finished singing, said thank you, and walked off the stage?" And just then, turning back to the TV, I watched Drexler do exactly that. Perfect.